a divided heart...

I have started reading the book Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson, an author that I have come to greatly enjoy, as she encourages and spurs me on in my MISSION of being a mommy! I highly recommend her books to all moms. This morning in my reading time, the words, "a divided heart" spoke to me. She is writing about how as moms, in todays culture, we often have divided hearts when taking on the task of mothering our children. Being a full time "wholehearted" mom, as she writes, is not a desired or even admired position in todays world. Women are encouraged to go out and "make a name for themselves" and should not waste all their skills on the home...but for those of you reading who have the same heart as I, firmly believing that the Word of God makes it clear as to what God commands of us mothers...that we are to be the heart of our homes, to care for the children entrusted to us, to fully put all our God given talents into nuturing our children, keeping our homes means to FULLY dive into this task, a blessing and HIGH calling! Often, though, moms tend to "half-heartedly" take on this task, even though their hearts LONG to fully put their hearts into mothering, the voices of today echo in our minds....voices of today's culture saying that they really should focus on their career first and in the end their precious children get the left overs...Sally's focus was on working moms...but as I read, the Lord was showing me that even though I have strong convictions about being fully focused on keeping my home and raising my children, my heart can be divided also...in the areas of HOW I am keeping my home and training and teaching my children.

I am home and LOVE it, but there are always areas in my own heart and choices that I make when I am not WHOLE-heartedly focusing on what I know I should be...in the areas of training and correcting, in teaching, even household chores, because at times, to a fault, I focus on the needs of my house, the chores take priority to that of my children's hearts...you see, I know God is showing me there MUST be a balance, as the sun rises on each NEW day, I must seek God's wisdom in what must be done in that day and how I must allow HIM to lead me and show me where my heart must be fully focused...each day and for each home, each mom, these things change and differ. The Lord has shown me and continues to teach me that for ME, I must focus on what HE is showing me and be obedient. Walking with Him daily, He leads me in what needs to be priority for that moment in the day...ultimately, God has shown me that my dear children are only young once, with hearts so ready to be molded and taught, that NOW is the time to reach them... God has entrusted them to my husband and I, myself as their mommy am home with them during the day, with many opportunities to teach and mold them. I am so very blessed and privileged!

Sally does a wonderful job teaching us that there is beauty in raising our families and enjoying them as we raise them. She is an encouragement and so kindly writes of how all moms of today need to evaluate and consider where their hearts are in their role of mothering. For me, today, God has taught me and I am thankful.

So, all this to say :) that EVEN while I am home and putting my heart, soul, and mind into being obedient to what the Lord has shown me to do...I can still have a divided heart when I don't take time to evaluate and allow God's Word to show me where my heart is for that day and time...for me, while I am a "stay at home mom" I can still be selfish and not FULLY and WHOLE-heartedly put my all into being a mom and wife, keeper of the home. A divided heart is not only for working moms...I am NOT off the hook cause I am home...GOD knows my heart.

I NEED you God and thank you for your WORD that is ALIVE and active in showing me my selfish heart, how I can so easily just "rest" in my convictions and not put some "feet" to them...all the while, becoming "divided" in where my heart should FULLY be...
Thank you for showing me and teaching me...

LORD help me...as I desire to be a WHOLE-hearted mother.

"She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness."
Proverbs 31:26-27